That Time We Were Rich

​Someone on social media—always a reliable source—mentioned a couple of weeks ago that annuity investments had increased in value. My first thought was, I have one of those. It’s not very big, and since I can’t touch it for a few more years, I mostly forget about it. But who knows? Maybe I’ve got an extra hundred bucks! 
 
So, I checked.
 
And the screenshot you see is what I found.

​​My tiny annuity had grown to over $5 million dollars! 
 
Wow! 
 
But not really. I knew it was a mistake. But it looks nice, doesn’t it? Maybe some of you have accounts that large, but I spent most of my life as a schoolteacher. We had four kids. And a mortgage. Not the kind of folks who accumulate massive wealth. I ran into Robin’s office to show her. “Maybe it’s a gift from a rich friend,” she said hopefully. Our list of friends with an extra five million dollars to give away is pretty short, but Robin is the most optimistic person I know. Me? I’m a pragmatist. And a cynic.

So, I called my banker. He said someone would get back to me in a couple of days. I took a screenshot of our account and texted it to our four kids. Two immediately requested money. Another was concerned that we were being scammed. She called her sister and asked her to check on us. Imagine that—us needing a wellness check!
 
Robin and I spent the next couple days thinking about what it would be like to have $5 million dollars. What would we do with it? How would we spend it? Christmas is coming up, so the grandkids would make out like bandits. But then, we reminded ourselves, they do anyway. Ask our kids. Robin is the queen of Christmas. She believes in piles of perfect and thoughtful gifts. She shops with purpose. We spend days wrapping them. So, no change there.
 
Perhaps we would replace our four-year-old Volvo with something newer. We’ve talked about a second car, but we’ve gotten by with just one for five years now, and there’s really no room in the garage, so that’s out. Plus, we love that Volvo. It’s about to pass 100,000 miles, and has been great on our drives from Florida to Missouri and back. 
 
So, what else? A new TV? Clothes? Robin votes for clothes, but we live in South Florida most of the year. There’s little need for anything beyond shorts and t-shirts. Maybe a cruise? We’ve wanted to see the Northern Lights. Or maybe take one of those leaf-peeping tours of New England.

Or maybe not. The more we thought about it, the more we realized things are pretty good as they are. An extra $5M would only complicate things. So, when the bank called and said it was just a computer glitch, we weren’t too disappointed. The money disappeared the next day. We celebrated by ordering a pizza. Medium, since we no longer have $5 million to blow on things like large pizzas. We’re putting leaf-peeping and a new TV on hold, but we are going to Alaska next summer with our friends, Tom and Jo Ann, so maybe we’ll see the Northern Lights then.
 
Happy Holidays, everybody!