Life-Changing Events

​We’re changing our healthcare coverage and keep running into the term “qualifying life event.” Sound familiar? These allow you to make changes in your health insurance outside the usual enrollment period, things like marriage, divorce, and having a baby. We have no plans nor the biological capability for those. Moving and death count, but we’re in good health and after the many moves we made for our careers, we’re content to stay put. There are others, but few apply to mature (make whatever you want out of that) adults. Life events at our age aren’t like they were years ago. For example, our biggest life event in recent years happened recently. 

We swapped sides in bed.

​And if that isn’t enough… are you ready for this? We upgraded from a queen mattress to king.

Oh. My. Goodness. 

​For the entirety of our marriage, Paul slept on the right, Robin on the left. Hotels, guest rooms, wherever. We never thought about it. It was just the way it was.
 
Until February. Our mattress wore out. Robin says it’s because it was old. Paul snickers and insists there were other reasons. We went mattress shopping. Just about everyone we know has a king mattress, so we tried one out. Not just any mattress. We went straight to the super-deluxe adjustable, air-cooled, memory foam model. Might as well splurge, right? The salesman preached the benefits of that mattress like it was holy water from Lourdes. Sleep better, longer, and cooler. Wake up refreshed! Get more done! Visions of eight uninterrupted hours of sleep danced in our heads. After fifteen minutes, we were begging the guy to take our money. Our new mattress would arrive in two days. We were so excited we could barely sleep. Maybe that was because our old mattress seemed so… old.
 
The mattress arrived on a Wednesday. Since we paid extra for "white glove delivery and set up," we expected gentlemen with French accents in tuxedos. “Pardon me, mademoiselle, but did you perchance purchase the super-deluxe adjustable air-cooled memory foam mattress from Mega Mattress Mart?”

"Oui! Please come in!"
 
It wasn’t quite like that. They were just a couple of guys in a rental truck. Nick and Jesus. No, not that Jesus. Neither was from France but they were on their way to Venice to deliver a bunkbed. No, not that Venice. They said little as they put the bed together, even when Robin asked if they’d forgotten their white gloves. We could overlook that minor misrepresentation, though. Our new bed had arrived! For ten minutes, we stood there and marveled at it. Then Paul had the idea to change sides.
 
Swapping sides isn’t easy. First there’s bedside tables. They’re quite heavy. Especially Robin’s, which is stuffed full of everything from chapstick to journals that weigh more than bricks. Paul’s is a different story. Just eye drops, foot cream, and a Father’s Day card from 2018. Paul throws stuff away. Even good stuff. Ask our kids.
 
Kid: Where’s the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Paul: I threw it out. The expiration date was getting close.
Kid: The expiration date was two months away.
Paul: See what I mean.
 
Had Paul thought of changing sides before the bed arrived, there would have been less distance to cover. We don’t do things that way, though, so it required dragging two tables around an enormous new bed. We considered asking the neighbors for help, but we’re the youngest people here, so that was out. It took a half-hour to drag Robin’s 230-pound bedside table to Paul’s side of the bed. And forty-two seconds to carry Paul’s 14-pound table to Robin’s side.
 
We were finally set. The switch was made!
 
So on a chilly 61-degree South Florida night, we went to bed. Robin on the right, Paul on the left. Without his contacts, Paul whined that he could barely see Robin on the other side. We scootched to the middle to take care of that.
 
So, how is it going?
 
The first two weeks were strange. We kept going back to our old sides. Paul says it feels like we sleep in different zip codes, but he likes being closer to the bathroom. He’s at that age where… it’s better to be close to the bathroom. Robin enjoys being next to the window, though since an alligator came into the yard last summer, she’s scared to open it.
 
But we’re nothing if not adaptable. At least until our next big life event. If Robin has her way it will be a golf cart to zip around the neighborhood. Paul is hoping for a tv that covers an entire wall. 
 
We dream big around here.